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PAUL’S CONVERSION
THE first question that should occur to our minds, is this, Have I obtained mercy? If a favourable answer can be returned to that, we should inquire, In what manner, and for what ends, mercy has been shewn us? There can be no doubt, but that if persons who are converted to God would frequently look back upon the state in which they were previous to their conversion, they would find the retrospect attended with the most beneficial consequences. Their recollection would furnish them with innumerable facts, which would tend to humble them in the dust, and to excite adoring thoughts of that grace which has so distinguished them. St. Paul appears to have taken peculiar pleasure in this exercise of mind. He embraces every opportunity to speak of his former hostility to Christ, in order to exalt to the uttermost the honour of that God, by whom he had been elected, redeemed, and sanctified. In the preceding verses he had expatiated on this painful subject: and now he improves it for the benefit of others.
In discoursing on his words, we shall notice,
I. The circumstances under which the Apostle obtained mercy—
If St. Paul had more to boast of than any, on account of his birth, his education, his strictness, and his zeal, he had also more to be humbled for than almost any other person. For consider,
1. His ignorance of himself—
[He had been educated under the most celebrated teacher of his day, Gamaliel; and had made a proficiency beyond any of his age. Yet, skilled as he was in Rabbinical learning, he was wholly ignorant of his own state and character. He knew not that he was a condemned sinner, He knew not the spirituality and extent of the law. He had no idea, that it required perfect unsinning obedience, and consigned men over to perdition for one single offence, whether in thought, word, or deed. Through his ignorance of the law, he imagined himself to be “alive,” and entitled to everlasting life [Note: Rom_7:9.]. He moreover judged that he was practising all the moral duties, while he was destitute of almost every just sentiment, or proper feeling. Instead of being humbled as a sinner in dust and ashes, he was lifted up with pride and self-conceit. Instead of being animated with love, and pity, and compassion, he was inflamed with a fiery and wrathful zeal. “He knew not at all what spirit he was of.” In short, he was the very reverse of what he afterwards became.]
2. His enmity against Christ—
[He might have had many opportunities of seeing and hearing Christ, on a supposition he bad chosen to embrace them. But, like proud and ignorant bigots of later ages, he would not condescend to hear one who was so generally despised. He probably believed all the scandalous reports that were circulated respecting Jesus, and therefore thought him unworthy of his attention. From the prophecies indeed he could not but know that the promised Messiah was to appear about that time: but having imbibed the prejudices of his countrymen respecting a temporal Messiah, he concluded that Jesus was an impostor; and no doubt rejoiced when the influence of that deceiver (as he thought him) was terminated by his death. But when the doctrines of the Gospel were propagated with such success by the Apostles, then his disappointment appeared, and he broke forth into the fiercest rage against Christ. He determined to extirpate his followers, and to blot out, if possible, the very remembrance of his name. Such was his opinion of Christ, that “he thought he ought to do every thing in his power contrary to his name [Note: Act_26:9.],” and adverse to his cause. Nor can we doubt, but that if Jesus had put himself again in the power of the Jews, Paul would have been among the first to apprehend and destroy him. None would have been found more ready than he to nail him to the cross, or to pierce his heart with the spear.]
3. His cruelty to his fellow-creatures—
[He was present at the stoning of the first martyr, Stephen. He heard the discourse of that holy man; he saw “his face shining like the face of an angel:” he heard him with his dying breath praying for his murderers; but was unconvinced, unrelenting, unmoved. One would have thought that a young man (whose feelings are quick), and a man pretending to morality, should have felt some pity towards one, whose whole appearance was so devout and holy: and that, when the first stone made the blood to gush out, he should have turned away with disgust and horror. But no such effect was produced on him. On the contrary, he feasted his eyes with this bloody spectacle; and testified his consent to the murderous deed, by holding the garments of the murderers, and giving in his looks very evident tokens of his approbation [Note: Act_7:58; Act_8:1; Act_22:19-20.]. Having thus tasted of human blood, he thirsted for it, and, like a blood-hound, would be satisfied with nothing else. He volunteered his services in hunting down the victims of his rage [Note: Act_9:2.]. He obtained authority from the chief priests; and in the exercise of it, not only drove the Christians from Jerusalem, but followed them to foreign cities, where he had no jurisdiction [Note: Act_26:10-11.]. He shewed no pity even to helpless females; but dragged all, men and women, to prison [Note: Act_8:3; Act_22:4-5.], and gave his voice against them that they should be put to death [Note: Act_26:10.]. He suffered none to escape, on any other condition than that of blaspheming the name of Jesus [Note: Act_26:11.]; and thus, while he inflicted on some the pains of martyrdom, he consigned others over to the damnation of hell. From his own description of himself, he more resembled an incarnate fiend than a human being [Note: Act_9:1. Gal_1:13 and 1Ti_1:13.].]
So strange were the circumstances under which this fiery bigot obtained mercy, that we are peculiarly concerned to inquire into,
II. The ends for which mercy was vouchsafed to him—
Doubtless many blessed ends were answered. But, without attempting to enumerate them, we shall notice those only that are specified in the text. It was,
1. For “the manifesting of Christ’s patience and long-suffering”—
[The long-suffering of Christ appears in the forbearance he exercises towards mankind at large. It was eminently conspicuous in his conduct towards the antediluvian world, whose wickedness he endured for the space of a hundred and twenty years [Note: 1Pe_3:20.]. It was wonderfully displayed also in not executing the most signal vengeance on his cruel adversary, and setting him forth as a distinguished monument of his wrath and indignation. But how truly wonderful does it appear, when we see him stopping this blood-thirsty persecutor in the midst of his career, and revealing his pardoning love and mercy to his soul! To take such a viper to his bosom! to make such a creature “an elect vessel,” an eminent saint, a distinguished Apostle! to exalt such an one to the most honourable service on earth, and the highest throne in glory! how does this love surpass all knowledge and all conception! How is Jesus now glorified in him! and how must he be admired in him for ever, both in the Church militant, and the Church triumphant [Note: 2Th_1:10.]!
This then was one principal end of so marvellous a conversion, namely, that the exceeding riches of the Redeemer’s grace might be displayed before the whole universe, both in time and eternity.]
2. For the encouraging of sinners to believe in him—
[It is not uncommon for persons to apprehend themselves so vile that they cannot be forgiven. But our blessed Lord has given a most effectual antidote to this in the conversion of Paul. It is not without reason that Paul repeatedly styles himself “the chief of sinners [Note: ἐ ì ï ὶ ð ñ þ ô ῳ should have been so translated in the text, as it is in the verse before it.]:” and he expressly tells us, that he was designed to be a “pattern to all who should hereafter believe on Jesus.” Our adorable Saviour points, as it were, to him, and says; ‘See, thou tempted soul, if thou art as blind as that infuriated bigot, I can make “the scales to fall from thine eyes [Note: Act_9:18.]:” if thine enmity against me be as rooted as his, I can slay it: if thou possessest all that is malignant and diabolical, I can change thee: there is nothing too great for me to do, nothing too good for me to give, even to the chief of sinners. I am the same gracious and almighty Saviour that I was in the day that I converted him; and I am able and willing to do the very same things for thee. Thou seest how freely I bestowed my grace on him. If wrath and malice, and murder and blasphemy, could entitle him to my favour, then certainly he had as good a title as man could have: but if these things rather entitled him to a distinguished place in hell, then thou seest how free and sovereign my grace is; and hast a proof, that “where sin has abounded, grace can, and shall, much more abound [Note: Rom_5:20.].” ’
Who, after beholding this pattern, can despond? Who will put away mercy from him under the idea that he is unworthy of it? Who will be afraid to come to Jesus, because he has no good work to bring as a price of his favour? None that reflect on the salvation of Paul, can ever doubt either the freeness of Christ’s offers, or the sufficiency of his grace.]
There are two things which, on account of their singular importance, we will further endeavour to impress upon your minds:
1. No good that can be possessed will supersede our need of mercy—
[Paul, as has been hinted at before, bad much to boast of [Note: Php_3:4-6.]: but, notwithstanding all his learning, and strictness, and zeal, he had perished for ever, if he had not “obtained mercy.” Let all consider this; and, renouncing all dependence on themselves, trust in Christ alone, and seek “life everlasting” solely “by believing in him” — — —]
2. No evil that can have been committed, shall exclude us from mercy, if we believe on Christ—
[This is the grand scope of the text, and of the discourse upon it. But it never can be repeated too often, or impressed too earnestly on the heart and conscience. It is uniformly attested by all the inspired writers [Note: Isa_1:18; Isa_55:7 and Act_13:39.]. May God help us to believe the record; and cause us all to experience its truth! If our guilt have been as extraordinary as Paul’s, it may, for ought we know, have been permitted, on purpose that, like him, we may be extraordinary monuments of grace. At all events, we may urge it as a plea with God, that he will be transcendently glorified in our salvation [Note: Psa_25:11.].]