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Commentary Index | Return to PrayerRequest.com | DownloadMcClintock Biblical Encyclopedia: Marriage, Heathen
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Under this head, as being most akin to the ancient Hebrew, and perhaps best representing the general type of Oriental matrimony, we begin with
I. Mohammedan. — The following description of this (condensed from Lane's Modern Egyptians) applies especially to Cairo, but will serve for a general illustration in most Moslem countries. To abstain from marrying when a man has attained a sufficient age, and when there is no just impediment, is esteemed by the Egyptians improper, and even disreputable. Oriental females arrive at puberty much earlier than the natives of colder climates. Many marry at the age of twelve or thirteen years; few remain unmarried after sixteen years of age. An Egyptian girl at the age of thirteen, or even earlier, may be a mother. It is very common among the Arabs of Egypt and of other countries, but less so in Cairo than in other parts of Egypt, for a man to marry his first cousin. In this case the husband and wife continue to call each other “cousin;” because the tie of blood is indissoluble, but that of matrimony very precarious. Most commonly the mother, or some other near female relation of the youth or man who is desirous of obtaining a wife, describes to him the personal and other qualifications of the young women with whom she is acquainted, and directs his choice; or he employs a woman whose regular business it is to assist men in such cases. The parents may betroth their daughter to whom they please, and marry her to him without her consent if she be not arrived at the age of puberty, but after she has attained that age she may choose a husband for herself, and appoint any man to arrange and effect her marriage. In the former case, however, the relations of a girl sought in marriage usually endeavor to obtain her consent to the proposed union.
The bridegroom can scarcely ever obtain even a surreptitious glance at the features of his bride until he finds her in his absolute possession, unless she belong to the lower classes of society; in which case it is easy enough for him to see her face. When a female is about to marry, she should have a deputy to settle the compact and conclude the contract for her with her proposed husband. If she be under the age of puberty this is absolutely necessary; and in this case her father, if living, or (if he be dead) her nearest adult male relation, or a guardian appointed by will or by the magistrate, performs the office of deputy; but if she be of age she appoints her own deputy, or may even make the contract herself, though this is seldom done. After a youth or man has made choice of a female to demand in marriage, on the report of his female relations, and, by proxy, made the preliminary arrangements before described with her and her relations, he repairs, with two or three of his friends, to her deputy. Having obtained consent to the union, if the intended bride be under age, he asks what is the amount of the required dowry. The giving of a dowry is indispensable. It is generally stipulated that two thirds of the dowry shall be paid immediately before the marriage-contract is made, and the remaining third held in reserve, to be paid to the wife in case of divorcing her against her own consent, or in case of the husband's death. This affair being settled, and confirmed by all persons present reciting the opening chapter of the Koran, an early day (perhaps the day next following) is appointed for paying the money, and performing the ceremony of the marriage-contract; but it is very seldom the case that any document is written to confirm the marriage, unless the bridegroom is about to travel to another place, and fears that he may have occasion to prove his marriage where witnesses of the contract cannot be procured. Sometimes the marriage-contract is concluded immediately after the arrangement respecting the dowry, but more generally a day or two after. On the day appointed for this ceremony the bridegroom, again accompanied by two or three of his friends, goes to the house of the bride, usually about noon, taking with him that portion of the dowry which he has promised to pay on this occasion. It is necessary that there be two witnesses (and those must be Moslems) to the marriage-contract, unless in a situation where witnesses cannot be procured. All persons present recite the same chapter of the Koran, and the bridegroom then pays the money. After this the marriage-contract is performed. It is very simple.
The bridegroom and the bride's deputy sit upon the ground face to face, with one knee upon the ground, and grasp each other's right hand, raising the thumbs, and pressing them against each other. A schoolmaster is generally employed to instruct them what they are to say. Having placed a handkerchief over their closed hands, be usually prefaces the words of the contract with a few words of exhortation and prayer, with quotations from the Koran and Traditions, on the excellency and advantages of marriage. He then desires the bride's deputy to say, “I betroth [or marry] to thee my daughter [or the female who has appointed me her deputy], such a one [naming the bride], the virgin [or the adult virgin], for a dowry of such an amount.” (The words “for a dowry.” etc., are sometimes omitted.) The bridegroom says, “I accept from thee her betrothal [or marriage] to myself, and take her under my care, and bind myself to afford her my protection; and ye who are present bear witness of this.” The deputy addresses the bridegroom in the same manner a second and a third time, and each time the latter replies as before. They then generally add, “And blessing be on the apostles, and praise be to God, the Lord of all creatures; amen alter which all present repeat the same chapter. It is not always the same form that is recited on these occasions: any form may be used, and it may be repeated by any person; it is not even necessary, and is often altogether omitted. The contract concluded, the bridegroom sometimes (but seldom unless he be a person of the lower orders) kisses the hands of his friends and others there present; and they are presented with sherbet, and generally remain to dinner. Each of them receives an embroidered handkerchief, provided by the family of the bride. Before the persons assembled on this occasion disperse, they settle upon the night when the bride is to be brought to the house of the bridegroom, and the latter, for the first time, is to visit her.
In general, the bridegroom waits for his bride about eight or ten days after the conclusion of the contract. Meanwhile he sends to her, two or three or more times, some fruit, sweetmeats, etc.; and perhaps makes her a present of a shawl, or some other article of value. The bride's family are at the same time occupied in preparing for her a stock of household furniture and dress. The portion of the dowry which has been paid by the bridegroom, and generally a much larger sum (the additional money, which is often more than the dowry itself, being supplied by the bride's family), is expended in purchasing the articles of furniture, dress, and ornaments for the bride. These articles are the property of the bride, and, if she be divorced, she takes them away with her. She cannot. therefore, with truth be said to be purchased. The furniture is sent, commonly borne by a train of camels, to the bridegroom's house. Often among the articles is a chair for the turban or headdress. There are sometimes sent two of these chairs, one for the husband and the other for the wife. The bridegroom should receive his bride on the eve of Friday, or that of Monday; but the former is generally esteemed the more fortunate period. During two or three or more preceding nights the street or quarter in which the bridegroom lives is illuminated with chandeliers and lanterns (q.v.). An entertainment is also given on each of these nights, particularly on the last night before that on which the wedding is concluded, at the bridegroom's house. On these occasions it is customary for the persons invited, and for all intimate friends, to send presents to his house a day or two before the feast which they purpose or expect to attend: they generally send sugar, coffee, rice, wax candles, or a lamb; the former articles are usually placed upon a tray of copper or wood, and covered with a silk or embroidered kerchief. The guests are entertained on these occasions by musicians and male or female singers, by dancing girls, or by some other performance.
On the preceding Wednesday (or on the Saturday if the wedding is to conclude on the eve of Monday), at about the hour of noon, or a little later, the bride goes in state to the bath. In general the first persons among the bride's party are several of her married female relations and friends, walking in pairs, and next a number of young virgins. The former are dressed in the usual manner, covered with the black silk shawl; the latter have white silk shawls. Then follows the bride, walking under a canopy of silk, of some gay color, as pink, rose-color, or yellow, or of two colors composing wide stripes, often rose-color and yellow. It is carried by four men, by means of a pole at each corner, and is open only in front: and at the top of each of the four poles is attached an embroidered handkerchief. The dress of the bride during this procession entirely conceals her person. She is generally covered from head to foot with a red shawl, or with a white or yellow shawl though rarely. Upon her head is placed a small pasteboard cap or crown. The shawl is placed over this, and conceals from the view of the public the richer articles of her dress, her face, and her jewels, etc., excepting one or two ornaments, generally of diamonds and emeralds, attached to that part of the shawl which covers her forehead. She is accompanied by two or three of her female relations within the canopy; and often, when in hot weather, a woman, walking backwards before her, is constantly employed in fanning her with a large fan of black ostrich feathers, the lower part of the front of which is usually ornamented with a piece of looking-glass. Sometimes one procession, with a single canopy, serves for two brides, who walk side by side. The procession moves very slowly, and generally pursues a circuitous route, for the sake of greater display. On leaving the house it turns to the right. It is closed by a second party of musicians, similar to the first, or -by two or three drummers. The whole bath is sometimes hired for the bride and her party -exclusively. They pass several hours, seldom less than two, occupied in washing, sporting, and feasting; and frequently female singers are hired to amuse them in the bath: they then return in the same order in which they came. Having returned from the bath to the house of her family, the bride and her companions sup together. If singers have contributed to the festivity in the bath, they also return with the bride to renew their concert. Their songs are always on the subject of love, and of the joyous event which occasions their presence. It is on this night, and sometimes also during the latter half of the preceding day, that the bridegroom gives his chief entertainment. Low farce-players often perform on this occasion before the house, or, if it be large enough, in the court. The other and more common performances by which the guests are amused have been before mentioned.
On the following day the bride goes in procession to the house of the bridegroom. The ceremony usually occupies three or more hours. Sometimes, before bridal processions of this kind, two swordsmen, clad in nothing but their drawers, engage each other in a mock combat; or two peasants cudgel each other with long staves. The bride and her party, having arrived at the bridegroom's house, sit down to a repast. Her friends shortly after take their departure, leaving with her only her mother and sister, or other near female relations, and one or two other women. The bridegroom sits below. Before sunset he goes to the bath, and there changes his clothes; or he merely does the latter at home, and, after having supped with a party of his friends, waits till a little before the time of the night-prayer, or until the third or fourth hour of the night, when, according to general custom, he should repair to some celebrated mosque, such as that of the Hasaneyn, and there say his prayers. The party usually proceeds to the mosque with a quick pace, and without much order. A second group of musicians, with the same instruments, or with drums only, closes the procession. The prayers are commonly performed merely as a matter of ceremony; and it is frequently the case that the bridegroom does not pray at all. The procession returns from the mosque with more order and display, and very slowly; perhaps because it would be considered unbecoming in the bridegroom to hasten home to take possession of his bride. Soon after his return from the mosque, the bridegroom leaves his friends in a lower apartment, enjoying their pipes, and coffee, and sherbet. The bride's mother and sister, or whatever other female relations were left with her, are above, and the bride herself and her companion in a separate apartment. If the bridegroom be a youth or young man, it is considered proper that he, as well as the bride, should exhibit some degree of bashfulness: one of his friends therefore carries him a part of the way up to the room. On entering the bride's apartment he gives a present to her companion, who then retires. The bride has a shawl thrown over her head, and the bridegroom must give her a present of money, which is called the price of the uncovering of the face,” before he attempts to remove this, which she does not allow him to do without some apparent reluctance, if not violent resistance, in order to show her maiden modesty. The bridegroom now sees the face of his bride for the first time, and generally finds her nearly what he has been led to expect. He remains with her but a few minutes: having satisfied his curiosity respecting her personal charms, he calls to the women (who generally collect at the door, where they wait in anxious suspense) to raise their cries of joy, and the shrill sounds acquaint the persons below and in the neighborhood, and often, responded by other women, spread still further the news that he has acknowledged himself satisfied with his bride: he soon after descends to rejoin his friends, and remains with them an hour or more before he returns to his wife. It very seldom happens that the husband, if disappointed in his bride, immediately disgraces and divorces her; in general he retains her a week or more, even if dissatisfied With her.
Marriages are sometimes conducted without any pomp or ceremony, even in the case of virgins, by mutual consent of the bridegroom and the bride's family, or the bride herself; and widows or divorced women are never honored with a procession on marrying again. The mere sentence, “I give myself up to thee,” uttered by a female to a man who proposes to become her husband (even without the presence of witnesses, if none can easily be procured), renders her his legal wife, if arrived at puberty; and marriages with widows and divorced women, among the Moslems of Egypt, and other Arabs, are sometimes concluded in this simple manner. The dowry of such women is generally one quarter, or third, or half the amount of that of a virgin. Among persons not of the lowest order, though in very humble life, the marriage ceremonies are conducted in the same manner as among the middle orders. But when the expenses cannot by any means be paid, the bride is paraded in a very simple manner, covered with a shawl (generally red), and surrounded by a group of her female relations and friends, dressed in their best, or in borrowed clothes, and enlivened by no other sounds of joy than their shrill cry, which they repeat at frequent intervals. The general mode of processions among the inhabitants of the villages is different from those above described. The bride, usually covered with a shawl, is seated on a camel, and so conveyed to the bridegroom's dwelling. Sometimes four or five women or girls sit with her on the same camel, one on either side of her, and two or three others behind, the seat being made very wide, and usually covered with carpets or other drapery. She is followed by a group of women singing. In the evening of the wedding, and often during several previous evenings, in a village, the male and female friends of the two parties meet at the bridegroom's house, and pass several hours of the night in the open air, amusing themselves with songs and a rude kind of dance, accompanied by the sounds of a tambourine, or some kind of drum: both sexes sing, but only the women dance.
II. Ancient Pagan, i.e.
1. Greek. — The ancient Greek legislators considered the relation of marriage as a matter not merely of private, but also of public or general interest. This was particularly the case at Sparta, where proceedings might be taken against those who married too late or unsuitably, as well as against those who did not marry at all. But, independent of public considerations, there were also private or personal reasons, peculiar to the ancients, which made marriage an obligation. One of these was the duty incumbent upon every individual to provide for a continuance of representatives to succeed himself as ministers of the divinity: and another was the desire felt by almost every one, not merely to perpetuate his own name, but to leave some one who might make the customary offerings at his grave. We are told that with this view childless persons sometimes adopted children. The choice of a wife among the ancients was but rarely grounded upon affection, and scarcely ever could have been the result of previous acquaintance or familiarity. In many cases a father chose for his son a bride whom the latter had never seen, or compelled him to marry for the sake of checking his extravagances.
By the Athenian laws a citizen was not allowed to marry a foreign woman, nor conversely, under very severe penalties; but proximity by blood ( ἀã÷éóôåßá ) or consanguinity ( óõããÝíåéá ) was not, with some few exceptions, a bar to marriage in any part of Greece: direct lineal descent was. At Athens the most important preliminary to marriage was the betrothal ( ἐããýçóéò ), which was in fact indispensable to the complete validity of a marriage-contract. It was made by the natural or legal guardian ( ὁ êýñéïò ) of the bride elect, and attended by the relatives of both parties as witnesses. The wife's dowry was settled at the betrothal. On the day before the gamos, or marriage, or sometimes on the day itself, certain sacrifices or offerings ( ðñïôÝëåéá ãÜìùí or ðñïãÜìåéá ) were made to the gods who presided over marriage. Another ceremony of almost general observance on the wedding-day was the bathing of both the bride and bridegroom in water fetched from some particular fountain, whence, as some think, the custom of placing the figure of a ëïõôñïöüñïò , or “water carrier,” over the tombs of those who died unmarried. After these preliminaries, the bride was generally conducted from her father's to the house of the bridegroom at nightfall, in a chariot ( ἐö᾿ ἁìÜîçò ) drawn by a pair of mules or oxen, and furnished with a kind of couch ( êëéíßò ) as a seat. On either side of her sat the bridegroom and one of his most intimate friends or relations, who from his office was called the pcaranymph ( ðáñÜíõìöïò or íõìöåõôήò ); but, as he rode in the carriage ( ὁ÷çìá ) with the bride and bridegroom, he was sometimes called the ðÜñï÷ïò .
The nuptial procession was probably accompanied, according to circumstances, by a number of persons, some of whom carried the nuptial torches. Both bride and bridegroom (the former veiled) were decked out in their best attire, with chaplets on their heads, and the doors of their houses were hung with festoons of ivy and bay. As the bridal procession moved along, the hymenaean song was sung to the accompaniment of Lydian flutes, even in olden times, as beautifully described by Homer, and the married pair received the greetings and congratulations of those who met them. After entering the bridegroom's house, into which the bride was probably conducted by his mother, bearing a lighted torch, it was customary to shower sweetmeats upon them ( êáôá÷ýóìáôá ), as emblems of plenty and prosperity. After this came the nuptial feast, to which the name gamos was particularly applied; it was generally given in the house of the bridegroom or his parents, and, besides being a festive meeting, served other and more important purposes. There was no public rite, whether civil or religious, connected with the celebration of marriage among the ancient Greeks, and therefore no public record of its solemnization. This deficiency then was supplied by the marriage-feast, for the guests were of course competent to prove the fact of a marriage having taken place. To this feast, contrary to the usual practice among the Greeks, women were invited as well as men; but they seem to have sat at a separate table, with the bride, still veiled, among them. At the conclusion of this feast she was conducted by her husband into the bridal chamber; and a law of Solon required that, on entering it, they should eat a quince together. as if to indicate that their conversation ought to be sweet and agreeable. The song called the Epithalamium was then sung before the doors of the bridal chamber. The day after the marriage, the first of the bride's residence in her new abode, was called the epaulia ( ἐðáýëéá ), on which their friends sent the customary presents to the newly-married couple. On another day, the spatulia ( ἀðáýëéá ), perhaps the second after marriage, the bridegroom left his house to lodge apart from his wife at his father's-in-law.
Some of the presents made to the bride bv her husband and friends were called anacalypteria. ( ἀíáêáëõðôήñéá ), as being given on the occasion of the bride first appearing unveiled; they were probably given on the epaulia, or day after the marriage. Another ceremony observed after marriage was the sacrifice which the husband offered up on the occasion of his bride being registered among his own phratores.
The above account refers to Athenian customs. At Sparta the betrothal of the bride by her father or guardian ( êýñéïò ) was requisite as a preliminary of marriage, as well as at Athens. Another custom peculiar to the Spartans, and a relic of ancient times, was the seizure of the bride by her intended husband, but of course with the sanction of her parents or guardians. She was not, however, immediately domiciled in her husband's house, but cohabited with him for some time clandestinely, till he brought her, and frequently her mother also, to his home.
The Greeks, generally speaking, entertained little regard for the female character. They considered women in fact, as decidedly inferior to men, qualified to discharge only the subordinate functions in life, and rather necessary as helpmates than agreeable as companions. To these notions female education for the most part corresponded, and, in fact, it confirmed them; it did not supply the elegant accomplishment and refinement of manners which permanently engage the affections when other attractions have passed away. Aristotle states that the relation of man to woman is that of the governor to the subject; and Plato, that a woman's virtue may be summed up in a few words, for she has only to manage the house well, keeping what there is in it, and obeying her husband. Among the Dorians, however, and especially at Sparta, women enjoyed much more estimation than in the rest of Greece.
2. Roman. — A legal Roman marriage was called justiae nuptiae, justum matrimonium, as being conformable to jus (civile) or to law. A legal marriage was either cum conventione uxoris in manum viri, or it was without this conventio. But both forms of marriage agreed in this: there must be connubium between the parties, and consent. The legal consequences as to the power of the father over his children were the same in both. Connubium is merely a term which comprehends all the conditions of a legal marriage. Generally it may be stated that there was only connubium between Roman citizens; the cases in which it at any time existed between parties not both Roman citizens, were exceptions to the general rule. Originally, or at least at one period of the republic, there was no connubium between the patricians and the plebeians; but this was altered by the Lex Canuleia (B.C. 445), which allowed connubium between persons of those two classes. There were various degrees of consanguinity and affinity within which there was no connubium. An illegal union of a male and female, though affecting to be, was not a marriage: the man had no legal wife, and the children had no legal father; consequently they were not in the power of their reputed father. The marriage cum conventione differed from that sine conventione in the relationship which it effected between the husband and the wife; the marriage cum conventione was a necessary condition to make a woman a nmotetjiamilias. By the marriage cum conventione the wife passed into the familia of her husband, and was to him in the relation of a daughter, or, as it was expressed, in manum covenit. In the marriage sine conventione the wife's relation to her own familia remained as before, and she was merely uxor. “Uxor,” says Cicero, “is a genus of which there are two species: one is materfamilias, quae in manum convei it; the other is uxor only.” Accordingly a materfamilias is a wife who is in manu, and in the familia of her husband. A wife not in manu was not a member of her husband's familia, and therefore the term could not apply to her. Matrona was properly a wife not in manu, and equivalent to uxor; and she was called matrona before she had any children. But these words are not always used in these their original and proper meanings.
It does not appear that any forms were requisite in the marriage sine conventione; and apparently the evidence of such marriage was cohabitation matrimonii causa. The matrimoni causa might be proved by various kinds of evidence. In the case of a marriage cum conventione, there were three forms:(1) Usus,
(2) Farreunm, and
(3) Coemptio.
(1.) Marriage was effected by usus if a woman lived with a man for a whole year as his wife; and this was by analogy to usucaption of movables generally, in which usus for one year gave ownership. The law of the Twelve Tables provided that if a woman did not wish to come into the manus of her husband in this manner, she should absent herself from him annually for three nights (trinoctium), and so break the usus of the year.
(2.) Farreum was a form of marriage in which certain words were used in the presence of ten witnesses, and were accompanied by a certain religious ceremony, in which panis farreus was employed; and hence this form of marriage was also called confarreatio. It appears that certain priestly offices, such as that of Flamen Dialis, could only be held by those who were born of parents who had been married by this ceremony (confuarreati parentes).
(3.) Coemptio was effected by mancipatio, and consequently the wife was in mancipio. A woman who was cohabiting with a man as uxor, might come into his manus by this ceremony, in which case the coemptio was said to be matrimonii causa, and she who was formerly uxor became apud maritum filiae loco.
Sponsalia were not an unusual preliminary of marriage, but they were not necessary. The sponsalia were an agreement to marry, made in such form as to give each party a right of action in case of non-performance, and the offending party was condemned in such damages as to the judex seemed just. The woman who was promised in marriage was accordingly called sponsca, which is equivalent to promisa; the man who was engaged to marry was called sponsus. The sponsalia were of course not binding if the parties consented to waive the contract. Sometimes a present was made by the future husband to the future wife by way of earnest (arrha, arrha sponsalia), or, as it was called, propter nuptias donatio.
The consequences of marriage were:
1. The power of the father over the children of the marriage, which was a completely new relation — an effect indeed of marriage, but one which had no influence over the relation of the husband and wife.
2. The liabilities of either of the parties to the punishments affixed to the violation of the marriage union. 3. The relation of husband and wife with respect to property. When marriage was dissolved, the parties to it might marry again; but opinion considered it more decent for a woman not to marry again. A woman was required by usage (mos) to wait a year before she contracted a second marriage, on the pain of infamia.
It remains to describe the customs and rites which were observed by the Romans at marriages. After the parties had agreed to marry, and the persons in whose potestas they were had consented, a meeting of friends was sometimes held at the house of the maiden for the purpose of settling the marriage-contract, which was written on tablets, and signed by both parties. The woman, after she had promised to become the wife of a man, was called sponsa, pacta, dicta, or sperata. It appears that — at least during the imperial period — the man put a ring on the finger of his betrothed as a pledge of his fidelity. This ring was probably, like all rings at this time, worn on the left hand, and on the finger nearest to the smallest. The last point to be fixed was the day on which the marriage was to take place.
The Romans believed that certain days were unfortunate for the performance of the marriage rites, either on account of the religious character of those days themselves, or on account of the days by which they were followed, as the woman had to perform certain religious rites on the day after her wedding, which could not take place on a dies ater. Days not suitable for entering upon matrimony were the calends, nones, andoides of every month, all dies atri, the whole months of May and February, and a great number of festivals. On the wedding-day, which in the early times was never fixed upon without consulting the auspices, the bride was dressed in a long white robe with a purple fringe, or adorned with ribbons. This dress was called tunica recta, and was bound round the waist with a girdle (corona, cingulum, or zona), which the husband had to untie in the evening. The bride's veil, called flammeum, was of a bright yellow color, and her shoes likewise. Her hair was divided on this occasion with the point of a spear. The bride was conducted to the house of her husband in the evening.
She was taken with apparent violence from the arms of her mother, or of the person who had to give her away. On her way she was accompanied by three boys dressed in the pretexta, and whose fathers and mothers were still alive (patimni iet matrinsi). One of them carried before her a torch of white thorn (spina), or, according to others, of pine wood; the two others walked by her side, supporting her by the arm. The bride herself carried a distaff and a spindle, with wool. A boy called camillus carried in a covered vase (cumera, cumerum, or casmillum) the so-called utensils of the bride and playthings for children (crepundia). Besides these persons who officiated on the occasion, the procession was attended by a numerous train of friends, both of the bride and the bridegroom. When the procession arrived at the house of the bridegroom, the door of which was adorned with garlands and flowers, the bride was carried across the threshold by pronubi. i.e. men who had been married to only one woman, that she might not knock against it with her foot, which would have been an evil omen. Before she entered the house, she wound wool around the door-posts of her new residence, and anointed them with lard (adeps suillus) or wolf's fat (adeps lupinus).
The husband received her with fire and water, which the woman had to touch. This was either a symbolic purification, or a symbolic expression of welcome, as the interdicere aqua et igni was the formula for banishment. The bride saluted her husband with the words, Ubi tu Caius, ego Caia. After she had entered the house with distaff and spindle, she was placed upon a sheep-skin, and here the keys of the house were delivered into her hands. A repast (coena nuptialis), given by the husband to the whole train of relatives and friends who accompanied the bride, generally concluded the solemnity of the day. Many ancient writers mention a very popular song, Talasius or Talassio, which was sung at weddings; but whether it was sung during the repast or during the procession is not quite clear, though we may infer from the story respecting the origin of the song that it was sung while the procession was advancing towards the house of the husband. It may be easily imagined that a solemnity like that of marriage did not take place among the merry and humorous Italians without a variety of jests and railleries; and Ovid mentions obscene songs which were sung before the door of the bridal apartment by girls, after the company had left. These songs were probably the old Fescennina, and are frequently called Epithalamia. At the end of the repast, the bride was conducted by matrons who had not had more than one husband (pronubae) to the lectus genialis in the atrium, which was on this occasion magnificently adorned and strewed with flowers. On the following day the husband sometimes gave another entertainment to his friends, which was called repotia, and the woman, who on this day undertook the management of the house of her husband, had to perform certain religious rites; on which account, as was observed above, it was necessary to select a day for the marriage which was not followed by a dies ater. These rites probably consisted of sacrifices to the Dii Penates.
The position of a Roman woman after marriage was very different from that of a Greek woman. The Roman presided over the whole household; she educated her children, watched over and preserved the honor of the house, and, as the materfamilias, she shared the honors and respect shown to her husband. Far from being confined, like the Greek women, to a distinct apartment, the Roman matron (at least during the better centuries of the republic) occupied the most important part of the house, the atrium. — Smith, Dict. of Class. Ant. s.v.
III. Among the Hindus. — There are writers, perhaps we had better call them “fact gatherers” (comp. Miller. Chips, 2:262), who, not contenting themselves with the accomplishment of the task for which they are fitted, frequently go out of their way to cast a slur upon the Christian's belief' and to ridicule him for entertaining the thought that the Bible is the educator of the human race. Yet the deeper the researches into the “primitive” condition of man, and the more intimate our relation with those nations who can claim a civilization outside of the pale of Christian teachings, the more stubborn appears the fact that Christianity alone assigns to woman a position of equality with man. The N.T. teaches “there is neither Jew nor Greek; there is neither bond nor free; there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” The Hindu's sacred writings, however, not only fail to make woman the equal of man, but they even put a stigma upon her from her very birth. A woman, it is affirmed by the Institutes of Manu (q.v.), whose inspiration is as unquestioned as his legislative supremacy is universal among the Hindus, “is never fit for independence, or to be trusted with liberty; for she may be compared to a heifer on the plain, which still longeth for grass.” “‘They exhaust,” says Massie (Continental India, 2:153), “the catalogue of vice to affix its epithets to woman's nature — infidelity, violence, deceit, envy, extreme avariciousness, an entire want of good qualities, with impurity, they affirm, are the innate faults of womankind.” “Why,” says Butler (Land of the Veda, p. 470), “if my native friend had six children, three boys and as many girls, and I happened to inquire, ‘Lalla, how many children have you?' the probability is he would reply, ‘Sir, I have three children;' for he would not think it worth while to count in the daughters.” Indeed, the Brahmin is taught that perfection is to be attained only, freed from the contamination of woman, in a purely ascetic state (Wuttke, Christian Ethics, 1:51).
But let us not be misunderstood as conveying the impression that the lay Hindfi favors asceticism. Far from it. Among the laity celibacy is a reproach in either sex. As among the Chinese (see below), “girls are not desired, not welcome;” and, when they come, they are either quickly done away with, where the English law does not interfere [see INFANTICIDE], or, if they must live, are ignored, if not despised. Arrived at the age of only seven, the age at which the Shasters pronounce the girl marriageable, the unhappy parents begin to look about for an early opportunity to free themselves from the burden that is upon then by betrothal of the child. As all through the East, so also here the whole matter is held by the parents in their own hands. The poor girl has no choice or voice in her own destiny — all is arranged without consulting her views or affections in any way whatever. “Courtship, in our Christian sense,” says Butler, “the maiden in India can never know. She is not allowed to see or converse with him to whose control she will ere long be handed over. She cannot write to him, for she can neither read nor write; all she is able to do is to follow the instructions to ‘worship the gods for a good husband.' She is taught to commence as soon as she is four years old. Her prayers are addressed chiefly to Kama-deva (q.v.), the Hindû Cupid ... the maiden prays, and father and mother manage the business of selection. Each caste, SEE INDIAN CASTE, has its professional match-makers, whose aid is indispensable. When the negotiations have reached a certain definiteness, the Pundits are consulted to avoid mistakes of consanguinity, and then the astrologers, who pronounce upon the carefully-preserved horoscopes of the boy and girl, whether they can be united with safety. These preliminaries all found satisfactory, the aid of the Brahmin is sought to ascertain if the family god favors the union. The stars, the gods, and men being a unit, negotiations are opened between the parents and relations as to the amount of gift and dowry, and, when conclusions are reached here to their mutual satisfaction, the astrologer is again called in to ascertain and name a lucky day when the agreement may be registered, and a bond for the dowry executed. This is done with due solemnity, and then the astrologer has again to ascertain and name a lucky day for the ceremony, which is accepted by the parents under their bond to see to the consummation of the engagement. This is the usual method, slightly varied in different localities” (p. 479, 480). No female child is expected to have gone beyond the age of twelve without the consummation of an engagement. Woe be unto that family wherein a girl is past the age of twelve and yet unbetrothed (Butler, p. 497). And yet what is the fate of the poor girl after she has actually found her mate? Marriage to the Hindû female means slavery in its most abject form. “The Hindû,” says Massie (2:154), “does not marry to secure a companion who will aid him in enduring the ills of life, or in obtaining the means of rational employment, he seeks only a slave who shall nourish (he thinks not of training) children, and abide in abject subjection to his rule.”
Betrothal with the Hindûs being as binding as marriage (indeed, the word “marriage” is used to include both betrothal and our conception of the matrimonial alliance), the female child enters into a new state of existence immediately after the ceremony of betrothal. “Henceforth she is no more free to roam the fields and enjoy the lovely face of nature. Reserved for her husband, she can no longer be seen with propriety by any man save her father and brothers. She is from that day ‘a plurdah-sashlzi' — one who sits behind the curtains within the enclosure which surrounds her mother's home;” and now commences her education, which, lasting for five or six years, may be epitomized in its entire curriculum under these four heads: cooking, domestic service, religion, and their peculiar female literature, to enter at last a state of dependence more strict, contemptuous, and humiliating, ordained for the weaker sex among the Hindus, than which there cannot easily be conceived another. Look into the house which the bride has entered, and see her as she begins the duties for which she has been trained. She rises to prepare her husband's food, and, when all is ready and laid out upon the mat — for they ignore such aids as chairs and tables, knives or forks, and take their meals with the hand, sitting on the floor — she now announces to her lord that his meal is ready. He enters and sits down, and finds all duly prepared by her care. Why does she still stand? Why not sit down too, and share with her husband the good things which she has made ready. She dares not. He would not allow it — the law of her religion forbids it. She must stand and wait upon him, for do not the Shasters render it her duty? “When in the presence of her husband,” they teach her, “a woman must keep her eyes upon her master, and be ready to receive his commands. When he speaks she must be quiet, and listen to nothing else, and attend upon him alone. A woman has no other god on earth but her husband.”
Therefore she waits upon her husband so patiently. But not only is she prohibited from enjoying the blessings of the family table, even when her lord has fully satisfied himself, but she is obliged to remove what remains to another apartment — “for her religion not only forbids her eating with him, but also prohibits her from eating even what he leaves ‘in the same room where he dines' — and not till then can she and her children eat their food” (Butler, p. 492). If the state we have portrayed be sad and low enough, what shall be said of the helpless condition in which the poor woman of India is placed if her husband be cruel, aye, brutal? “Woman,” says Butler (p. 492), “is absolutely without redress, in the power of her husband, and no one can interfere when it stops short of actual murder.” Such is woman's history in a married life, as guided and controlled by the sacred writings of a people who enjoy a non-Biblical civilization. “If ever woman had an opportunity of showing what she might become under the teachings and influence of a civilization where Christianity or the Bible did not interfere with her state, the women of India have had that opportunity, and now, after forty centuries of such experiment, what is woman there to-day?” (Butler, p. 469). Surely here is a question worthy the attention of those “fact gatherers” who so eagerly thrust aside the benighted influences of a Christian civilization.
Polygamy exists among the Hindûs, as it is allowable. It is a luxury, however, that few poor men can afford, and hence the practice of “successional polygamy:” Hindûs often forsake their wives, and then take others. Where polygamy has invaded the household, the woman who has had the good fortune to be the first wife takes precedence in rank; she remaining the mistress of the zenana — the Hindû harem.
Polyandry, strangely enough, has also established itself here. “This singular and amazing relation existed in India twenty-five centuries ago, and lingers today in some localities to such an extent as to call for the legislative action of the English government.” SEE POLYANDRY.
The marriage-rites are numerous, tedious, and in many parts far from delicate. All, however, being expressed in Sanscrit, and recited by the officiating Brahmin with the utmost rapidity, no one understands what is said. The principal rites among the Brahmins are walking three times round a fire, and tying the garments of the parties together. The bride has also to make seven steps, at the last of which the marriage is complete.The marriage is usually solemnized in the house of the bride's father. Thither the bridegroom proceeds, attended by his friends, and from thence conducts the bride to his home in a grand procession, usually by night, with torches and great rejoicings. One both occasions considerable expenditure is incurred in feasting the friends and relatives, and in providing ornaments, music, processions, and illuminations. The wealthy spend freely on these objects, and the poorer classes often incur debts which burden them for many years. The costs incurred by the fathers, on both sides, in celebrating a marriage, form a heavy item of Hindû expenditure, and one of the motives to female infanticide is doubtless laid in the desire to avoid this charge (Trevor, Its Natives and Missions, p. 214). The marriage procession is thus described by Butler (p. 485). “Often when traveling at night in my palanquin, I have been roused from my sleep by my bearers catching sight of an approaching marriage procession, with its torches, music, and shouting; falling in with the enthusiasm of each event, they would cry out that ‘the bridegroom cometh.' First the bridegroom would make his appearance, mounted on a fine horse splendidly caparisoned — his own or borrowed for the occasion — and wearing a grand coat, decked out in tinsel and gold thread, with the matrimonial crown on his head, and his richly-embroidered slippers, all very fine, his friends shouting and dancing alongside of him, and, of course, as he passes, we make our salaam and wish him joy. Right behind the bridegroom's horse comes the palanquin of the bride, but she is veiled, and the venetians are closely shut, and on the little lady is borne to a home which she never saw before, to surrender herself into the hands of one who has neither wooed nor won her; a bride without a choice, with no voice in her own destiny; married without preference; handed over, by those assumed to do all the thinking for her, to a fate where the feelings of her heart were never consulted in the most important transaction of her existence; beginning her married life under circumstances which preclude the possibility of her being sustained by the affection which is founded upon esteem. When the procession has come within hailing distance of his home, the watching friends go forth to meet the bridegroom, the bride enters her apartments, the door is shut, and the guests are entertained in other parts of the establishment.”
IV. Among the Chinese and Japanese. — The Chinese are divided into a number of clans, each distinguished by a clan name. Of these clans there are from a hundred to a thousand, according to different authors. The laws is that no man shall marry a woman of his own clan name. Thus relationship by the male line, however distant, prevents marriage. This rule is very ancient, its origin being referred by the Chinese to the mythic times of their empire. The legendary emperor Fu-Hi, who reigned before the Hea dynasty, which, according to the Chinese annals, began in B.C. 2207, is said to have divided the people into clans, and established this rule regarding marriage (Tyler, Researches, p. 278). We give the Chinese marriage customs at considerable length, as they are highly illustrative of Oriental usages in general.
As in all Eastern countries, the girl to be given in wedlock is not consulted in the choice of her future husband, the parents deciding in her stead. The Chinese are firm believers in the sentiment to which the Western mind has given expression in the proverb that “Matches are made in heaven.” To secure an alliance, a person is employed as a go-between or match-maker. The negotiation is generally opened by the family of the male person. Not unfrequently the girl has to be paid for — a relic of the patriarchal custom. Occasionally, when a female child is born to persons in humble circumstances, it is given away to a family having a male child only; is reared by the latter, and, when the girl and boy have reached a marriageable age, they are joined in matrimony. Not unfrequently it occurs among wealthy families having a daughter that the custom of purchase is reversed, and a husband secured for a pecuniary consideration. The wealthy look with special favor upon the literary class, and not unfrequently great sacrifices are made to secure a scholarly husband. “It not unfrequently occurs,” says Doolittle (China, 1:99), “that a rich family, having only one daughter and no boys, desires to obtain a son-in-law who shall be willing to marry the girl and live in the family as a son. Sometimes a notice is seen posted up, stating the desire of a certain man to find a son- in-law and heir who will come and live with him, perhaps stating the age and qualifications of an acceptable person. In such a case, the parents of those who have a son whose qualifications might warrant such an application, and whom they would be willing to allow to marry on such terms, are expected to make application by a go-between, when the matter would be considered by the rich man. Sometimes the rich man makes application by a go-between to the parents of a young man whose reputation he is pleased with, and who perhaps may be a recent graduate, his name standing near the head of the list of successful competitors of the first or second literary degree.”
Betrothal. — This among the Chinese is considered as binding as marriage, if the rites and observances have been carefully looked after. The final act in betrothment is the exchange of cards (for description, see Doolittle, 1:67). The time intervening between betrothal and marriage varies from a month or two to eighteen or twenty years, depending much on the age of the parties. “From one to three months before the marriage a fortunate day is selected for its celebration. Generally a member of the family of the bridegroom, or a trusty friend, takes the eight horary characters which denote the birth-time for each of the affianced parties, and for each of their parents, if living, to a fortune-teller, who selects lucky days and times for the marriage, for the cutting of the wedding garments, for the placing of the bridal bed in position, for the finishing of the curtains of the bridal bed, for the embroidering of the bridal pillows, and for the entering of the sedan, on the part of the bride, on the day of her marriage. These items are written out on a sheet of red paper, which is sent to the family of the girl by the hands of the go-between. If accepted, the periods specified become the fixed times for the performance of the particulars indicated, and both parties proceed to make the necessary arrangements for the approaching wedding. Presenting the wedding-cakes and material for the bridal dress to the family of the bride by the other party is next in order. The relative time usually adopted for the performance of this custom is about one month before the day fixed for the marriage. The number of these ‘cakes of ceremony,' or wedding-cakes, varies from several score to several hundreds. They are round, a and about an inch thick, weighing generally about one pound and ten or twelve ounces each, and measure nearly a foot in diameter. They are made out of wheat flour, and contain in the middle some sugar, lard, and small pieces of fat pork, mixed together in a kind of batter, and then cooked: they are, in fact, a sort of mince-pies. There is also sent a sum of money, of greater or less amount, according to previous agreement; a quantity of red cloth or silk, usually not less than five kinds, for the use of the bride; five kinds of dried fruits, several kinds of small cakes, a cock and a hen, and a gander and a goose. The family of the girl, on receiving these wedding-cakes, proceeds to distribute them among their relatives and intimate friends. The small cakes are also distributed in a similar manner. The money sent is generally spent in outfitting the bride.
“A few days before the day fixed for the wedding, the family of the bridegroom again makes a present of various articles of food and other things to the family of the bride, as a cock and a hen, a leg and foot of a pig and of a goat, eight small cakes of bread, eight torches, three pairs of large red candles, a quantity of vermicelli, and several bunches of fire-crackers. There are also sent a girdle, a head-dress, a silken covering for the head and face, and several articles of ready-made clothing, which are usually borrowed or rented for the occasion. These are to be worn by the bride on her entering the bridal sedan to be carried to the home of her husband on the morning of her marriage. The food, or a part of it, including the cock, is to be eaten by her on that morning. The fire-crackers are for explosion on the road, and the torches are for burning during the time occupied en route to her new home. On each of the eight bread-cakes is made a large red character in an ancient form of writing, of an auspicious meaning, as ‘longevity,' ‘happiness,' official emolument,' and ‘joy;' or certain four of them have four characters, meaning ‘the phoenixes are singing in concert,' or ‘the ducks are seeking their mates.' Four of these bread-loaves are accepted; the remaining four and the hen, according to strict custom, are returned to the party which proffers them. The bread-cakes and the vermicelli are omens significant of good, owing to a play on the local sound of the characters which denote them, or in consequence of the shape of the article. The vermicelli is significant of longevity,' because of its length; and the four bread-cakes reserved by the family of the bride are kept for a singular use on the morning of the girl's entering her bridal chair. Placing the bridal bedstead in the position where it is to stand is an important ceremony. When the day selected arrives, which is generally only a few days before the wedding, the bedstead is arranged in some convenient place in the bride's chamber, and then for a considerable time it must not be moved, for fear of ill luck. This placing of the bedstead in position is attended with various superstitious acts.”
Worship of Ancestors by the Bridal Party. — “Usually the day before the wedding, the bride has her hair done up in the style of married women of her class in society, and tries on the clothes she is to wear in the sedan, and for a time after she arrives at her future home on the morrow. This is an occasion of great interest to her family. Her parents invite their female relatives and friends to a feast at their house. The professed object of trying on the clothing is to see how the articles provided will fit, and to ascertain that everything is ready, so that there may be no delay or confusion on the arrival of the hour when she is to take her seat in her sedan. While thus dressed (the thick veil designed to conceal her features on arrival at her husband's residence not now being worn), she proceeds to light incense before the ancestral tablets belonging to her father's family, and to worship them for the last time before her marriage. She also kneels down before her parents, her grandparents (if living), her uncles and aunts (if present), and worships them in much the same manner as she and her husband will on the morrow worship his parents and grandparents, and the ancestral tablets belonging to his family. On the occasion of the girl's trying on these clothes and worshipping the tablet and her parents, it is considered unpropitious that those of her female relatives and friends who are in mourning should be present.
“The bridal chair is selected by the family of the bridegroom, and sent to the residence of the bride generally on the afternoon preceding the wedding-day, attended by a band of music, some men carrying lighted torches, two carrying a pair of large red lanterns, containing candles also lighted, and one having a large red umbrella, and one or two friends or other attendants. The bridal chair is always red, and is generally covered with broadcloth, or some rich, expensive material. It is borne by four men, who wear caps having red tassels. The musicians and all the persons employed in the procession have similar caps.
Very early on the morning of her marriage the bride or the ‘new woman' arises, bathes, and dresses. While she is bathing the musicians are required to play. Her breakfast consists theoretically of the fowl, the vermicelli, etc., sent by the family of her affianced husband. In fact, however, she eats and drinks very little of anything on the morning or during the day of her wedding. When the precise time approaches for taking her seat in her sedan, usually between five and eight o'clock in the morning, previously fixed by the fortune-teller, her toilet is completed by one of her parents taking a thick veil and placing it over her head, completely covering her features from view. She is now led out of her room by one of her female assistants, and takes her seat in thee sedan, which has been brought into the reception-room of the house. The floor from her room to the sedan is. covered for the occasion with a kind of red carpeting, so; that her feet may not touch the ground. She takes herplace in the sedan amid the sound of fire-crackers and, music by the band. The bride, her mother, and the various members of the family, are required by custom to, indulge during this morning in hearty and protracted. crying — oftentimes, no doubt, sincere and unaffected. While seated in the sedan, but before she starts for her future home, her parents, or some members of her family, take a bed-quilt by its four corners, and, while holding it thus before the bridal chair, one of the bride's assistants tosses into the air, one by one, four bread-cakes, ins such a manner that they will fall into the bed-quilt.
These bread-cakes were received from the family of her husband at the same time as the cock and vermicelli were received. The woman during this ceremony is constantly repeating felicitous sentences, which are assented to by some others of the company. The quilt containing these cakes is gathered up and carried immediately to an adjoining room. The object of this ceremony is explained to be to profit the family of the: bride's parents, being an omen of good, which is in some, manner indicated to the Chinese apprehension by the. quilt and the cakes being retained in the house — the local sound of the common word for ‘bread,' and a certain word meaning ‘to warrant,' ‘to secure,' being identical.” Bridal Procession. — After these performances “the, bridal procession starts en route for the residence of the other party, amid explosions of fire- crackers and the music of the band. In the front of the procession go, two men carrying two large lighted lanterns, having the ancestral or family name of the groom cut in a large form out of red paper pasted upon them. Then, come two men carrying similar lanterns, having the, family name of the bride in a similar manner pasted on them. These belong to her family, and accompany her only a part of the way. Then comes a large red umbrella, followed by men carrying lighted torches, and by the band of music. Near the bridal chair are several brothers of the bride or friends of her family, and several friends or brothers of the groom. These latter are dispatched from the house of the groom early in the morning, for the purpose of meeting the bridal procession and escorting the bride to her home. This deputation sometimes arrives at the house of the bride before she sets out on her journey, and, if so, it accompanies the procession all the way. About midway between the homes of the bride and the groom the procession stops in the street, while the important ceremony of receiving the bride is formally transacted. The friends of the bride stand near each other, and at a little distance stand the friends of the groom. The former produce a large red card, having the ancestral name of the bride's family written on it; the latter produce a similar card bearing the ancestral name of the groom. These they exchange, and each, seizing his own hands a la Chinois, bows towards the members of the other party.
The two men in the front of the procession who carry the lanterns having the ancestral name of the groom now turn about, and, going between the sedan chair and the two men who carry the lanterns having the ancestral name of the bride, come back to their former position in the procession, having gone around the party which has the lanterns with the bride's ancestral name attached. This latter party, while the other is thus encircling it, turns round in an opposite direction, and starts for the residence of the family of the bride, accompanied by that part of the escort which consisted of her brothers or the friends of her family. The rest of the procession now proceeds on its way to the re