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CONVERSION OF ST. PAUL
IT has pleased God to give us every evidence of the truth of our religion, that the most scrupulous mind could desire. The proofs arising from prophecies and miracles, are such as to carry irresistible conviction to every candid inquirer. But suppose a sceptical person to wish for further proof, and to say, ‘Let me see a man, who, being fully competent to judge of the question, and decidedly hostile to Christianity in his heart, is yet convinced at last of its truth: let me see him, while yet all the opportunities of detecting imposture are open to him, embracing Christianity himself, and propagating it with all his might, and braving death in its most tremendous forms in support of it: then I shall be indeed convinced that it is of Divine original:’ I say, suppose a person unreasonable enough to desire such a proof, and determining, like Thomas, not to believe, till this evidence has been afforded him; we would meet him on his own ground, and produce him precisely such an instance as he requires. In the conversion of the Apostle Paul all these things unite: and, from the frequency with which that event is related in the Scriptures, it seems to have been intended by God as a strong confirmation of the truth of our religion. In the passage before us, it is stated by the historian: but, in two other places, it is related by St. Paul himself; who adduces the circumstances that attended it as an unquestionable proof of his own Divine mission, and of the truth of that Gospel which he preached.
In considering St. Paul’s conversion, we shall notice it in different points of view;
I. As a record for our instruction—
To enumerate the particular truths illustrated and confirmed by this event, would be endless: we shall therefore wave all mention of them, and confine our attention to the two leading features contained in the history; and observe,
1. How blindly man acts in the discharge of his duty—
[If ever there was a man that possessed advantages for the knowledge of his duty, it was Saul of Tarsus. He was educated under Gamaliel, the most eminent teacher of his day, and made a proficiency in learning beyond most of his contemporaries; and he was eminently distinguished for those moral habits, which peculiarly qualify the mind for the reception of truth. Yet behold, this man conceived himself to be rendering acceptable service to his God, while persecuting his Church with the most unrelenting barbarity. Methinks, even reason itself should have taught him, that men ought not to be so treated, merely for entertaining novel sentiments, and for following the convictions of their minds. If indeed they were violating the public peace, and destroying the welfare of the state, the ringleaders of them might well be apprehended and tried: but to seize all whom he could lay his hands upon, and to drag women as well as men to prison and to death, for no other crime than that of peaceably professing a new religion, was as contrary to humanity as to common sense.
Happy would it be if this erroneous mode of serving God had been confined to that age! but there are still many, who “have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge;” many, who can see the wicked going on in their wickedness, and never once stretch forth their hand to turn them back; but the moment they see persons embracing and obeying the Gospel of Christ, are filled with alarm, and think any methods proper to be used for stopping their progress. Our Lord himself told us beforehand, that it would be so, and that men would even “think they did God service in killing his devoted followers.” Were these malignant dispositions found only among the ungodly and profane, we should not so much wonder at them: but they are found equally among the wise, the moral, and the conscientious. And this shews us, that when we see such persons opposing the Gospel, we ought to pity them, and to pray for them, and to give them credit for meaning well, even whilst they are fighting against God with all their might. And it may teach us at the same time, that we also are fallible, and that we may be deceiving our own souls, even whilst we are most confident that we are acting right. “There is a way, says Solomon, that seemeth right unto a man; but the end thereof are the ways of death.”]
2. How sovereignly God acts in the exercise of his grace—
[Madly as Saul was persecuting the Church our blessed Saviour stopped him in his career, discovered to him his error, and made him a chosen vessel to propagate the faith which he had so laboured to destroy. Of those that were in company with him, not one, as far as we know, was made a partaker of the same mercy. They saw the light indeed, and heard the voice; but they understood not the things that were spoken [Note: Compare ver. 7. with 22:9.], nor did they experience the same effects from the vision. And why was Saul so distinguished from the rest? What was there in that ferocious persecutor to merit such a favour? In vain shall we look for any other cause, but that which St. Paul himself assigns; “God separated me from my mother’s womb, and called me by his grace [Note: Gal_1:15.]:”—“By the grace of God I am what I am.”
Now this doctrine is offensive to many: they claim a right to dispose of their own things as they will, and yet deny the same right to God. But his grace is his own, and he will dispense it to whomsoever he will; “nor will he give account to us of any of his matters:” “He will have mercy on whom he will have mercy, and will have compassion on whom he will have compassion.” How strongly does St. Paul state this, in the Epistle to the Romans! “A potter hath power over the clay, to make, of the same lump, vessels of honour, and vessels unto dishonour:” and such is the right which God claims. If in the pride of our hearts we reply, ‘Why then doth God find fault? for who hath resisted his will?’ the Apostle thus indignantly reproves our presumption; “Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say unto him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?” Let us acknowledge what in the case before us is perfectly undeniable, that God “saves us, and calls us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began:” and, if we will look for a reason, let this suffice us, “Even so, Father, for so it seemeth good in thy sight.”]
Another view in which we should contemplate the conversion of St. Paul, is peculiarly important; namely,
II. As a model for our imitation—
Conversion is as necessary for us as ever it was for him; for though we are Christians already in name, we are not living members of Christ’s mystical body, till we have been born again of the Spirit of God [Note: Compare Joh_3:3. with Rom_2:28-29.]. But here let it be distinctly noticed, that we must separate from St. Paul’s conversion every thing that was miraculous, or that was peculiar to him: we are not to expect visions, or voices, or miraculous interpositions of any kind: but that which constituted the essential part of his conversion we must expect, and must experience too, if ever we would be numbered with the saints of God. We must have, like Paul,
1. An enlightened mind—
[For three days and nights he continued blind; and at the expiration of that time, “there fell, as it were, scales from his eyes [Note: ver. 9, 18.].” This was doubtless intended as an emblematical representation to him of the blindness of his state by nature, and of the light into which he was now to be brought. Notwithstanding his great learning in the Scriptures, yet was he blind to the mysterious truths contained in them. Thus we in like manner are blind to the spiritual import of the Scriptures, till God the Holy Spirit is pleased to “open the eyes of our understanding.” “The natural man, whatever advantages he may enjoy, receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness unto him; neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.” Not that a converted person must of necessity become acquainted with new truths; but he will know them in a perfectly different manner. He may have had the whole system of religion treasured up in his mind before; but now he contemplates the Gospel, as a shipwrecked mariner regards a vessel by which he has been rescued from a watery grave: he sees, that there is in it the exact provision which his necessities required, and a merciful pledge of his safe conveyance to the “desired haven.”]
2. A convinced conscience—
[St. Paul before his conversion thought he was certainly in a state of acceptance with God: but when he began to view his past life in the glass of God’s law, he saw himself a dead, and condemned sinner: “I was alive without the law once,” says he; “but when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died.” As to that zeal which he had exercised in persecuting the Church, he saw that it was impious in the highest degree; and, in reference to it, he called himself “a blasphemer, and injurious, and a persecutor,” yea, even “the very chief of sinners.” Thus must we also be humbled under a sense of our lost condition. What though we have not committed precisely the same sins as he, “we all have offended in many things,” and are therefore deserving of God’s everlasting wrath and indignation: and the very first effect of Divine illumination will be, to make us “smite on our breast, and cry, God be merciful to me a sinner!”]
3. A renewed will—
[Hitherto this furious bigot had been following his own will, and the will of the chief priests who sent him: but now he cries, “Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do?” Behold, how entirely he commits himself to the guidance of that Jesus, whom now he saw to be the Saviour of the world! He professes himself ready to comply with any direction that shall be given him; and determines henceforth to have no other rule of conduct than his Saviour’s will. Here is the crown and summit of true conversion: we may have enlightened minds, and yet retain an unsanctified heart: we may have somewhat of a wounded spirit, and yet hold fast our iniquities: but if our will be changed, then it is certain that we have received the grace of God in truth. This therefore we must seek after: we must say to our blessed Lord, “Other lords beside thee have had dominion over me, but henceforth I will regard none but thee:” ‘I will search out thy will, as it is revealed unto men; I will take it in all things as a light unto my feet; and I will labour, through grace, to have even the thoughts of my heart brought into an unreserved obedience to it.’]
Whilst we regard this work of divine grace as a model for our imitation, let us behold it,
III. As an example for our encouragement—
In this view it was particularly designed of God; as St. Paul himself informs us: “For this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first, Jesus Christ might shew forth all long-suffering, for a pattern to them who shall hereafter believe on him to life everlasting [Note: 1Ti_1:16.].” Truly in the conversion of this bitter persecutor we see,
1. How far the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ can reach—
[We can scarcely conceive a state more desperate than that of Saul, when “breathing out threatenings and slaughter” against the saints of God: yet to him was mercy vouchsafed, and that too unsought, and unsolicited. Who then has any reason to despair? Who can say, My iniquities are too great to be forgiven? Let the weary and heavy-laden sinner, who is ready to say, “There is no hope,” take courage, and lift up his soul to God in fervent prayer: for the blood of Christ is as effectual to cleanse from sin, as ever it was; and its virtue shall extend as far as ever, even to the very chief of sinners. “Where sin has abounded, grace shall much more abound;” and “sins of a scarlet or a crimson dye” shall yet be washed away, so that the offender shall be made “white as snow.”]
2. What great things the grace of Christ can effect—
[This man, who, previous to his conversion, was the bitterest enemy both of God and man, was transformed into a most distinguished friend of both. Of all the Apostles, not one excelled him in piety, or equalled him in laborious exertions for the cause of Christ. His besetting sins were all subdued, and his virtues were brought to the highest perfection. This change in him was, as it were, instantaneous; so that in him was fully and at once, verified that description of sound conversion, “Old things passed away, and all things became new.” Who then shall hereafter think himself enslaved beyond a possibility of redemption? Is not that grace which wrought effectually in Paul, sufficient for us? Can any thing be too hard for the Lord? Let not any then despond, under an idea that his corruptions are too deep and inveterate ever to be eradicated: for that same Jesus is yet possessed of all power in heaven and in earth, and is still “able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him.”]
Application—
[Let me, in conclusion, remind you all, that by nature you are “alienated from God,” and “enemies to him in your minds by wicked works;” and more especially are you adverse to the humiliating doctrines of the Gospel. But Jesus now speaks to each of you by name, as he did to the Apostle Paul, “Why despisest thou me? Why turnest thou away from me?” On you he looks with the same compassion as he did on him, and warns you, that “it is in vain to kick against the pricks.” The greater part of sinners, it is true, are unconscious that they are fighting against the Lord Jesus Christ: in many things they do, they really think themselves acting inoffensively, or perhaps agreeably to the will of God: but a neglect of the Gospel, no less than direct opposition to it, is an act of hostility to the Lord Jesus Christ, and must finally issue in our destruction. Listen then to his still small voice, and accept his gracious invitations: and if those around you are regardless of his call, let your minds at least be humbled, if peradventure you may be distinguished by him as chosen vessels of his mercy, and happy monuments of his grace.]